that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
