she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
