Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this hospital has no fireball
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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