Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
