What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
