Plan B is the new Plan A
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
