I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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