i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
