i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
