she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
