Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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