So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
