Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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