Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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