Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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