do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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