My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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