im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
