You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Drunk is a universal language darling
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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