was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think people are normalizing furries
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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