he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize