I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
