I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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