She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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