just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
