Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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