somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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