He kissed a someone with a penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
