I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
