I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
