ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
