i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
