I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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