Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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