i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
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Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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