I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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