They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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