It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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