Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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