I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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