i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
