And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
