walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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