Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize