Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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