It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.