wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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