And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
