Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I faked an abortion last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
