You just made me feel so damn special
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
