I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
