Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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