I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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