Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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