if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize