went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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