I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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