i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
