so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
