last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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