Where is the hickey?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
